Hey, let me preface this by saying I am entirely grateful for this experience. Here is a brief humorous summary of the first thirteen and a half weeks.

Things people have said.
1. "Gee, you're looking chubby."
2. "Wow, I was wondering if you two couldn't figure out how to do it."
3. When trying to find clothes..."You're a large petite? Isn't that a contradiction?"
4. At the doctor's office..."You can turn around when you're on the scale if you want so you don't see your weight." "You know that at your age you really should have an amnio done." "Don't eat cold cuts, fish, caffeine........."
5. At work..."Do you know that you are starting to waddle?" "Wow, you popped early."
6. At the pharmacist after seeing the doctor because I couldn't breathe at night..."You can't take this. You shouldn't take anything. You just have to suffer."

Funny things I've done or that have happened.
1. Waking up at midnight, or some time shortly after, NEEDING to eat.
2. Pulling out my cell phone instead of my keys and can't figure out why my car door won't unlock.
3. Scratching belly, boobs, etc..looking like a monkey...after I put on the "miracle" anti-stretch mark cream.
4. Too tired to read....or write.
5. Wicked mood swings that have me screaming at DH one moment, laughing the next, and crying at the third.
6. Did I mention how tired I am?
8. Being woken up with a major pain in the ass, both sides. Welcome to the world of sciatica.
9. Calling my mother-in-law for the first time in seven years of marriage to keep her updated since DH doesn't find it that important.
10.Feeling my abdomen stretch and imagining a little alien pushing its way around.
11.DH calls the baby "tenant". "How is the tenant doing today?" "Hello tenant."
12.Said mother-in-law already has a crib ready. Guess she forgot Baby won't arrive until July. Then said MIL says, "Are you going to have another one?" YEESH!
13. Being continually reminded that I am AMA, or advanced maternal age.

LOL ROFLOL